Live Drama Free

1. Recognize when you might be creating drama.
You get what you put out. If you act in a way that is positive and minimal drama, you attract the same kind of positive situations and people. 

Drama usually comes from my reaction to other people’s actions. I stop to think: Does this really matter in the long run, or am I just trying to be right?


I minimize drama within myself. When I’m focused and calm, so is the world around me. 

If there’s drama in multiple areas of your life, be honest with yourself—you’re the constant. Are you creating it? We don’t do anything repeatedly unless there’s something in it for us, so, what’s the payoff?

Are you looking for attention or excitement? Did you grow up with drama and you just plain feel best when there’s some around you?


Now aim to find alternative solutions. If you’re looking for attention, can you get it more directly? If you’re bored, what new adventure can create in your life?


2. Change your perspective.

Be happy about little things, let the big stuff go because I can’t change any of it. 

I zoom out in my mind to a point far enough away and above so that I can see things in my life for what they are. By doing this, I can see from a distance how small and unimportant the situation is in the big scope of the universe. 


Is this situation going to matter a year from now? If not, it’s not worth worrying about. 

A lot of the drama takes place in our own heads, and it’s usually because we’re too deeply immersed in a difficult situation to recognize it isn’t as dire as it seems.

If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by a situation, step back and realize this feeling isn’t permanent—nothing is. Then focus on action steps—on the things you can control. What can you today to proactively create a solution?


3. Don’t feed into other people’s drama.

Build a reputation for not participating in drama. 

Just be. Anything you resist persists. Don’t add any negative or positive focus on it.


Speak less, listen more. You have time to hear and see the drama and sidestep it. 


Be an observer. Not everything needs a reaction.

If someone repeatedly comes to you with catastrophes, give yourself a window of time when you’ll listen, and then take care of your own needs by walking away. Also, resist the urge to jump into a pity party. Oftentimes people calm themselves down when other people don’t validate their complaints.

Lastly, focus on your breath. Your calming energy may even help them let go.


4. Reconsider unhealthy relationships.

Minimize dramatic people in your life.  

Befriend only people with good energy that don’t promote or create drama.  


I realize that spending time by myself is always preferable to spending time with someone who wants drama. Nothing wrong with a dull day.  


Remove the source of drama from my life. It really is that simple.  

Take an inventory of which people in your life leave you feeling stressed and unhappy more often than not. If you don’t want to completely remove a toxic relationship, minimize the time you spend together.

If you don’t want to change how often you see each other, recognize drama triggers. When the conversation moves toward her horrible mother, steer it somewhere else.


5. Be clear and straight with other people.

Be as open and honest and communicative as possible. Listen without reacting.  

If I have an issue with someone I go straight to them to talk about it, and I don’t talk to anyone else about it if they aren’t involved. Gossip breeds drama! 


Drama comes about because of either misunderstanding or overreaction. Be as honest and open in all cases as possible. Quell your own negative emotions, which will in turn diffuse the negative emotions of others. 

A lot of drama comes from poor communication and confusion. Eliminate it by finding the courage to say exactly what you mean. It may be harder in the moment, but it can save a lot of heartache in the long run.

On the flip side, let people know that they can be honest with you. If someone thinks they need to walk on eggshells around you, they’ll likely hold things in—but they will come out eventually, if not in words, in resentful actions.


6. Be slow to label something as “drama.”

When it comes to people you know you love, always take an extra moment to reconsider, if the “problem” is actually a problem, if it’s worth making a big deal out of it.

I realize that life is a roller-coaster and my problems are much like others’ at different times.  


Love them a little more. It’s who they are. It might even be you.  


Don’t speculate, good or bad. Simply deal with what’s actually in front of you.  


Sometimes what we’re labeling as drama is just someone who really needs us. Instead of expelling mental energy judging the situation as good or bad, focus on being there and being a friend in the moment.

Then be a friend to yourself and let the drama go when you walk away.  A lot of the drama we experience in life comes from our interpretations of the things we experience—particularly after the moments have passed.


7. Learn from drama.

I attempt to allow the inevitable episode, extract any potential meaning or lesson, and equally allow it to pass.  
I try to see the learning experience in the drama. And I think of the sentence “Without rain you can’t enjoy the sunny days.”  

Accept it, learn from it, and go on with life.  

Sometimes it seems like drama happens to us, and we’re powerless to remove ourselves from the cause. Another perspective is that every time we find ourselves immersed in something that seems overwhelming, we have an opportunity to learn how to deal with challenges better.

Life will always involve mini fires that we feel desperate to put out. If we can learn not to fan them, they may actually be able to light our way.