The term "control freak" is obviously not a clinical one, but it has meaning nonetheless because the term so clearly defines the problem. Men and women who have a high need for control can often be too extreme, giving rise to the notion that these individuals are abnormal or "freakish."
When it comes to this type of person, what kind of disorder might they have ? Control seekers are often obsessive-compulsive, angry (either overt or passive-aggressive), phobic, or even mood-disordered. These people need control because, without it, they fear things would spiral out of control and their lives would fall apart.
How can you spot a high-control person ? You can spot these types in every walk of life, in settings from home to work to social outings. Do high-control people think of themselves as control freaks? Because these individuals need a high level of control, they also need to control their image.
Though they will usually acknowledge that they need a lot of control in situations, they reject the "freak" part, the association that there is something wrong with them or that they need too much control. In fact, many high-control men and women will often justify their need for control in the following ways: "I have to be this way to do as much as I do;" "People need people like me because so many people are actually incompetent;" "Things would fall apart without me."
Needing a high level of control in situations is often not psychologically healthy because so much in life is beyond our control. If you need total control even though you and everyone else knows that it is impossible, you are going to have more anxiety because of the bar you have set for yourself. Take a look at the signs below and you may find yourself in some of the examples.
Correcting people when they're wrong
People with a high need for control often feel the need to correct others when they're wrong. They may correct someone due to an irrational argument; they may correct a pronunciation; they correct details of what happened in the past; they correct others for bad manners; or they correct people when they do something wrong or inappropriate. It's important to understand that, underneath the motivation to correct others, is the belief that they are usually - or always - right.
Always trying to win the argument or have the last word
High-control men and women are difficult to have relationships with because the controlling individuals like to set the rules and subsequently enforce them. They act as if they are superior to others, and they are determined to show everyone that they are the most practical, logical and intelligent of any crowd.
Refusal to admit when they're wrong
Hands down, one of the traits that annoys friends, romantic partners and colleagues the most is the refusal on the part of high-control men and women to admit when they are wrong. It could be the simplest issue in the world, but high-control people don't care how big or small the issue is - they just want to make sure they don't admit they were wrong. Their thinking is distorted to the point that they believe admitting they were wrong could later be used against them or that others will perceive them as incompetent or foolish because of one simple error. As a rule, these individuals present all-or-nothing, black or white thinking; dealing with anything in between is uncomfortable for them.
Judging or criticizing others
Some of the most judgmental individuals you will ever meet are men and women who have a high need for control. These men and women are highly principled, having opinions on everything from how people should hold their fork to how people should live their entire lives. These men and women have an answer for everything, and they come across as sanctimonious or hypocritical to those who know them well.
Driving with rage
People with a high need for control often get very frustrated while driving. They believe they are the only ones who know how to drive correctly, and they often put other drivers down, make nasty faces at others, or even curse or issue profanities when someone on the road does something that bothers them. Yet the most common problem with high-control men and women on the road is their impatience. They get annoyed because drivers go to slow or too fast, and pedestrians are treated as an interference, getting in the way of them accomplishing their goals. Again, in the mind of these individuals, it's all about them and they don't spend time trying to imagine what anyone else thinks or feels in the same situation.
The takeaway
High-control men and women, those people we call "control freaks," engage in a series of behaviors that frustrate and cause resentment in others. These men and women operate the way they do because they believe that they need to act that way to get their needs met and to accomplish their goals. If you see yourself in some of these high-control behaviors, take a step back and ask yourself whether you are exhausted from always trying to control everything.
If you see someone you love in these behaviors, it's time to have a chat about what bothers you so that your resentments don't get worse, jeopardizing the future of the relationship. If you point out to a high-control man or woman that you have a problem with them, give them a few concrete examples of what they do that bothers you and then give them time to work on changing.
